Foster Mom Funk. Ever heard of it? Me neither, I just made it up. I made it up to explain this mess of emotions I’m dealing with lately. This mess of emotions that I can’t begin to explain to even my closest friends. It’s a mix of heart break, sadness, confusion, anger….but at the same time it’s an overwhelming passion, love, contentment, and a fierce drive to do more.
With each placement it has gotten easier and easier to slip deeper into this Foster Mom Funk (I could shorten it to FMF, but admit it, it’s fun to say “Foster Mom Funk”). I have cried tears for over twenty foster kiddos now and it’s only getting harder. We have all heard this annoying phrase from strangers and friends alike, “I could never do what you are doing because I’d love the kids too much…” Oh how that phrase gets under my skin, and deserves it’s own post, but that phrase has me thinking: Am I there, do I love them “too much”? Then I remember, that’s a bunch of B.S. My deep love for these kiddos has always been there. The heart break, sadness, confusion, and anger have grown, but that has caused my passion and drive to explode.
Dear Mama, if you are there today let me just tell you that you are not alone. Unfortunately we bear a heavy burden of knowing some really ugly stuff and loving children that bare the scars of the ugly stuff. We are loving children that are going back to situations that we know are not in their best interest. It’s easy for me to question God when this all feels like too much. There are days that I’d like to throw in the towel and go back to the easy life of being a “normal” family with only 3 kids, the place where we can ignore all the injustices that are happening to precious children right here in our community. But I know that is not what God has called us to do. He has always equipped me to deal with every burden we have carried and I know He is not going to stop now.
“The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.” So our family motto remains true.
Jamie is a 34 year old mama to three kiddos, an 11 year old girl and two boys ages 9 and 7. She has been married to her husband, Max for 14 years. Their family has been doing foster care for almost 4 years.