I Never Set Out to be a Savior

by Rachel

I never set out to be a savior.  Which is probably a good thing, I would make a terrible savior.  I'm far too selfish, lazy and all around human to be any body's savior.

I never set out to be a hero. Also, probably a good thing. I am the last person anyone should claim as a hero.

All I set out to be was a Christ-follower.

I found myself saying, "Take me where you want, Lord, and please, for the love, make me less selfish along the way."

It turns out when you say those kinds of things to the creator of the world, and you actually mean it, He listens.  He begins to extend branches of "Will you do this with me? Will you trust me to get you through it?"  And if you find yourself saying yes, you might just need to grab on for dear life.

At first you find yourself knee deep in poo.  That part is not great. It feels a little like a bait and switch, which can be confusing and terrifying.  The poo in my life is metaphorical.  Though I suppose, perhaps, yours is not, depending on the age of your kids. 

Over time you start to experience only ankle-deep poo.  This feels relieving and surprising, though you know better than to get too excited.  Poo is still poo after all.  

Before you know it, you realize all that poo is actually fertilizing something.  You begin to see flowers emerging from what you thought was only wreckage and waste matter.  Your eyes are opened, and you see that things have been working below the surface when you didn't even realize.  

Suddenly a child who seemed to only hate and spew vile at you, buries himself in your arms seeking comfort.  You're shocked to watch a hardened heart begin to soften.  You begin to see layers that have been present for years, in the name of self protection, begin to peel away.  Someone who could barely receive the words, "I love you" is now saying them first.

It is in these moments you become hooked.  You see redemption and the gospel played out before your very eyes.  

And. You. Want. More.  

More of this refreshing path He has led you down. More beautiful flowers you were a part of fertilizing and growing. More of the healing and love that pokes its head out after all the hard work you pour in.

This people, is exactly how you end up adopting teenager after teenager after teenager.  

Call it idiotic; I know I sometimes do.  Or call it living radically for Jesus.  It's called that too.

I am seeing more and more how Christ is taking me on a personal journey where I have front row seats to watch the gospel unfold daily in my home, in my family.  We experience the offering and receiving of grace, forgiveness, mercy, unconditional love, repentance and acceptance.

And I am blessed to be a part of all that. 

I find myself signing up for more, time and time again.  I can't seem to say no. It's become something I don't even want to say no to.

I am thankful God asked me that very first time, "Will you say yes to this with me?"  What followed has been an insane amount of work, prayer, awe and growth.  Three adopted teens in, and I feel truly blessed to be a part of the radical-gospel-living insanity.

Rachel is a 32 year old mom with 6 kids married to the best man she knows, Joey. Her kids are 2,4,7,16,20, and 21. God keeps bringing them teens and asking them to adopt them. Like crazy people, they keep saying yes. What could seem like the worst possible age to adopt in the world, has become God's beautiful redemption story playing out right before their very eyes. And it is good.