When a kid first comes to our family, they are "some kid": someone's friend, someone's brother, someone's youth group kid. That label makes sense in my mind, I am Rachel and they are "some kid."
When adoption enters the situation, everything changes. The labels shift and all the roles change: in good ways and bad. You are no longer "cool and easy to talk to Rachel," instead you have become "the Mom who tells you what to do and makes me mad." That can be hard, confusing, and exhausting.
Yet, you also get to go from "Rachel, that lady who listens to me, but could walk out of my life at any moment" to, "Mom...who says she will never leave, and seems to show up over and over again."
When all the labels change, the testing does too. When you tell a wounded kid that you will wear that "Mom" label forever, they have everything lose by trusting you. They have already lost that before, sometimes many times. In their minds it can be easier to believe you will be like all the others. It becomes your job to prove this label will stick forever. You often get on your knees before the lord with hopeless tears because your kids are doing everything they can to prove you will undo that label and walk away.
All you can do is beg for strength from the Lord to keep fighting for them, even when it feels like it will kill you.
You have to trust that no matter how hard it is, God gave you this "Mom" label and the "my child" label. He has a purpose and plan for redemption. So you keep on fighting.
And you always will.
Rachel is a 32 year old mom with 6 kids married to the best man she knows, Joey. Her kids are 2,4,7,16,20, and 21. God keeps bringing them teens and asking them to adopt them. Like crazy people, they keep saying yes. What could seem like the worst possible age to adopt in the world, has become God's beautiful redemption story playing out right before their very eyes. And it is good.